Gratitude in Every Season

Let’s take a moment to inventory everything we take for granted. Acknowledge the universal basics such as drinkable water, a perfectly distanced sun, and paved roads. Reflect on the unique, unexpected blessings and second chances you’ve enjoyed. The grace we didn’t deserve. The mercy we didn’t earn. It’s pretty incredible. We’re tempted to think we’ll feel more grateful when we have more to be grateful for. Looking back, my gratitude level has not always been directly correlated to my circumstances, some of my most difficult seasons produced the most gratitude as it reminded me what’s essential, and what’s merely a convenience. It’s easy to confuse the two. We feel good when we’re grateful, even more so when we share that gratitude. Gratitude is a powerful force, but it's not always easy to maintain—let's explore what it truly means, what can undermine it, and how to harness it as a guiding light through life's toughest moments.

Gratitude in Action 

When we think of gratitude, we may imagine the internal practice of counting our blessings or being thankful. This foundational practice is beneficial, but we’re leaving too much on the table if we stop there. Appreciation is the external expression of gratitude we feel. I don’t want to take our roof, citizenship, or new shoes for granted, but I don’t think writing them on a gratitude list gives us the same neurochemical boost as giving our spouse a heartfelt compliment or seeing them light up while reading your heartfelt love note. Most people desperately long for appreciation. Specific, kind acknowledgments go a long way, especially when someone is making a lot of effort to love, serve, or guide you. It’s important to differentiate it from approval, especially for those who struggle with the negative connotations of needing or wanting appreciation. Approval compels us to do something for acceptance, regardless of intrinsic motivation. It’s an exchange with hidden costs. Appreciation is unsolicited positive feedback that encourages us to keep doing something we are intrinsically motivated to work on. It is freely given when expectations are met or exceeded. The internal state of gratitude for all the good in our life is a worthy and beautiful practice, but putting our gratitude in action to edify others through appreciation has multiplying effects on ourselves and the receiver. 

Entitlement Edges Out Gratitude  

What do we deserve? That’s a loaded question. We all fail to hit the target at some point in our lives, or regularly if we’re honest. We’ve all done things we’re not proud of, hurt those we love, and wounded those we pegged as enemies. Life isn’t fair, and to be human is a little messy. Setting aside our expectations, privileges, and entitlements creates space to remember everything we take for granted has actually been granted to us. Entitlement is the antithesis of gratitude. Grateful people aren’t entitled, and entitled people aren’t grateful. With a little humility and a whole lot of courage, we can ask God to reveal the areas of our lives we’ve let entitlement creep in and edge out our gratitude. 

Practical Gratitude Practices 

We know gratitude is a good thing we want more of it, but we don’t know how or when to harness it. Let’s start tiny and practical. Take *unproductive* negative thoughts as your cue to refocus on gratitude. Stutz and Micheals cover a great exercise in The Tools book called Grateful Flow that can break through black clouds lingering overhead. I use this exercise as an SOS signal when I notice I’m stuck in a tailspin of negativity. It’s simple and effective. I’ve also included two practices, an internal reflection and external expression, for gratitude development and maintenance. Our gratitude practices will be unique, but there are a few things that most good habits need to go the distance. We need a cue or time to tell us when to do it, a simple method to track our success, and a teeny-tiny way to celebrate accomplishing the habit, which can be as small as a smile or as silly as patting yourself on the back. For those who love a practical example, try one of these gratitude practices for a few weeks to see what resonates with you. Keep what you like and change what you don’t as you make it your own. Then, share your practice and experience with someone else. A rising tide lifts all ships. 

1. SOS for Dark Storms - Grateful Flow 

Take about thirty seconds to think of several things you are grateful for. If they’re easily taken for granted or new to your list, even better! Entering this exercise will probably feel a little challenging if you’re under a dark cloud, but push through. Next, make the shift from head to heart by noticing the overwhelming sensation of gratitude in your chest. The source of this energy is an overwhelming presence that has the power to break through the black clouds in our lives. Grateful Flow helps us connect with our infinite source (God). 

2. Take This Day as Miraculously Granted - The Maui Habit 

Grab a sticky note and pen. Write on the sticky note “Thank you for another day. It’s going to be a great one.” Place the sticky note where you’ll see it first thing: phone, bedside table, bathroom mirror. It’s fine if you don’t feel thankful or believe it’ll be true. On my roughest mornings, I like to say it with over-the-top, ridiculous enthusiasm which always makes me laugh. Have a little fun with it, especially on the days that don’t feel great. 

3. Share Your Appreciation - The Appreciation Station Habit

Set a daily reminder, notification, or alarm called “Appreciation Station” or whatever serious, less fun name you’d like to call it. Write a simple, kind, encouraging message via text, email, letter, or sticky note. Take less than 60 seconds to let someone know you value them. “I love you.” “Thanks for making me smile.” “I’d pick you first for kickball.” “Thankful that I can always count on you.” Be heartfelt or silly, but be authentic. Share appreciation in your unique way. The world desperately needs a little more love. 

Printing a Granola Recipe… 

A few days ago I was in my office printing a granola recipe. Well, attempting to print might be more accurate. The printer had connection issues meaning I had to save the recipe as a PDF, locate a jump drive to save it, and then transfer it manually to the printer. I loathe inefficiencies, and it’s safe to say that I was a little disgruntled. I noticed the physiological change and paused to take stock of the situation. It was comical that I empowered this tiny inconvenience to change my mood. Let’s survey the scene. I was using my personal computer that I owned debt-free which was connected to the internet that (incredibly) supplies endless free recipes. Let’s add that I’m in my home office with a printer, lights, and climate control. This was a small inconvenience and I would have to be an even smaller person to let it ruin my day. I gave thanks for modern-day resources, left a good online review for the recipe, and course-corrected my attitude trajectory. We should process frustrations and inconveniences but there’s danger if we become trapped in those negative states. Gratitude is the powerful tool that pulls us out of the downward spiral. 

Gratitude in Bad Seasons  

In the past, reading through the Book of Job was confusing and a little frustrating. I didn’t understand it until I found a study that provided more context to clear up some lingering questions. I believe the following statements:

1. God is always good. 
2. God is always just. 
3. God will allow bad things to happen to good people. 

I struggled to understand how these three statements could all be true without contradicting each other. It’s impossible to fathom the intricacies of a perfectly balancing creation, consistently abused by humanity, in a way that reveals the glory of our God and benefits those called according to purpose. Each year as I make another pass through the Bible, I find more evidence of God’s graciousness, patience, abounding love, and faithfulness. 

Although God doesn’t cause Job’s misfortune, I think He uses those trials to uncover a character flaw that would have never been revealed otherwise. Job's righteousness is confirmed in the opening verse and explicitly stated again by God during the dialogue with Job’s accuser. God permits Job to be tested. After heartbreaking losses, condemnation from his wife, and brutal character attacks from some of his closest friends, we see Job take the bait and shift from focusing on God’s perfect character to listing all his good works to qualify his righteousness to his friends. Sometimes we are tempted to plead our case to judges who lack authority because it’s painful to be misunderstood. 

Job's unexpressed, dormant character flaw of prideful entitlement wasn’t brought to light until he suffered more than anyone should endure. Believing our good fortune is based on our character or performance is entitlement. Despite the countercultural messages we’re fed, all good things come from God, not our luck, work ethic, or intelligence. Gratitude for God’s unmerited grace and mercy should compel us to be diligent stewards of our time, talent, and treasures. However, we must not fall into the trap of believing we can circumvent our dependency on God for all good things through good works. Righteousness is credited to people for their faith in God, not their charitable donations or volunteer hours. God loved Job so deeply that, like a precious metal, he used what the accuser meant for evil for good. He refined the hidden flaw of prideful entitlement through Job’s trials to deepen his faith even further in preparation for the coming blessings. God loves us enough to provide opportunities for refinement to prepare us for what’s in store. 

It’s difficult to be grateful and entitled at the same time. How can we use gratitude today to reveal and refine any flaws lingering under the surface?

Faith Encouragement: 

• Exodus 34:6 - And he passed in front of Moses, proclaiming, “The Lord, the Lord, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness”
• Romans 4:13: It was not through the law that Abraham and his offspring received the promise that he would be heir of the world, but through the righteousness that comes by faith.
• Robert Emmons: “Think about and then write down those aspects of your life that you are prone to take for granted. Instead, take them as granted.”